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I Will Never Be An Astronaut

by Kid Conventional

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1.
Tiny points of light, in the inky night. Distant fires burning bright, and then dying out. From down here I see, truly, that I am me, And I will always be a mess with doubt. But one thing I know is I will never be an astronaut. My horizons are broad, but they are finite now. In the morning light I hold you so tight And try hard to hide that I am scared. I shout into the cave, drink in the echoes that I have made, And I am content to stay somewhere I'm sure I there. The frontiers are beyond me; they are only for astronauts. My horizons are broad, but they are finite now. Some steps that you take you cannot retrace. The hands only turn one way. The sand always ebbs away. I shout into the cave, drink in the echoes that I have made, And I am content to stay somewhere I'm sure I there. And one thing I know is I will never be an astronaut. My universe is known; it's where I have grown, And I call it my home.
2.
Pedestals 03:58
I've broken my fair share of hearts, and had my heart broken in kind. I've had my fair share of false starts, I've been lost and been left behind. I've worshipped at many false altars, And been put up on pedestals too. I fumbled, and fallen, and faltered, But each misstep has brought me to you. So is this the end, or is there more to go? Because I would lay down with you here, if you wanted me to. Do you have to choose to stop, Or do you just know when it's the end? Because my regrets keep piling up, And I don't want you among them my friend. So should I set you free from my grip, And leave you to all you've become? Because I don't want to let this slip, but I'm sorry for all that I've done. Because I don't think that I'm worthy of you, But I would lay down with you here, if you wanted me to. And I worry you will waste yourself on me. You were my wild horse, and I would set you free. And I'm not sure if there is more than I could be, But I will not say no if you're willing to wait and see. Because I don't think that I have ever been worthy of you, But I would lay down with you here, if you wanted me to.
3.
Sisyphus 02:57
All this introspection is both crutch and safety net: It's keeping me from drowning, but I'm always soaking wet, And all my precious memories are these days something I forget When I'm lying awake next to you in bed. For the want of some direction, I will stay perfectly still, And sit upon my stone at the bottom of this hill, And I'll keep quiet and eat my greens until I've had more than my fill Because the well-travelled road is easier to tread. You might be filled with fears you cannot name, And your smile might be frozen like you're trapped inside a frame, And you look around and think "Surely someone feels the same?" But you must play up, play up and play the game. If you've found someone to love you, do all you can to keep them near Because nothing guides your hand so well as the ever-present fear That all the things you'd heard you'd want aren't filling you with cheer, And your mind is filled with exit doors instead. If you're always around people, you should not ever feel alone And if you've keys, and food, and furniture, don't you dare not feel at home. Because if you don't know what you're doing, just remember, this is Rome: Just follow on and take all you can get. You might be filled with fears you cannot name, And your smile might be frozen like you're trapped inside a frame, And you look around and think "Surely someone feels the same?" But you must play up, play up and play the game.
4.
There's a sword hanging over my head, And a candle that's burning me the thread That's granting me this stay of execution. I try to disguise where I'm from In the hope it will help me get on But my problems run much deeper than elocution. I'm haunted by the spectre of my dreams. I'm taunted by the other boys on my computer screen. What would be so wrong with just being ordinary? Because I think I might be, and it terrifies me. In the cold light of day I can see I'm not as much as I really should be I've wasted time on foolish undertakings Instead of becoming a man, And following through with a plan. All my moves have been childish and mistaken. I'm haunted by my self-doubt and my fears. I'm taunted by the success of my peers. Have I been following the wrong path now, for years? Because I think I might be, and it terrifies me.

credits

released May 5, 2017

Kid Conventional is:
Jack Weston - Vocals, guitars, keys.

With:
James Fosberry - Drums, bass.

All words and music by Jack Weston.

Recorded and produced winter 2016/17 by James Fosberry at Bigdog Studios, Sheffield.

kidconventional.bandcamp.com

bigdogstudios.co.uk

Artwork by Alice Clayton
amclaytob.wixsite.com

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Kid Conventional Sheffield, UK

Sheffield Folkie. Weekend Lennon. Sad Jams, Trad Jams, Dad Jams.

FFO Conor Oberst, Phoebe Bridgers, Bon Iver

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